alpha_hannah says killkillkill!

It came to me in a dream

Khan sat up from his bed in a cold sweat.  He picked up his personal tricorder, muttered "Personal Log" into it with a few other words, and got up to grab a quick sonic shower.  Clean and mildly refreshed, he picked up his hypospray, dialed it for a stimulant, and used it to wake fully up.  There would be no further sleeping tonight.

He then sat down at the console in his room, switched the mode to a higher personal level of security, and began to design what he had seen in his mind.  As it was a combination of a couple pieces of existing technology, it did not take long.  He requested a prototype to be created, and after a moment's processing, it appeared within the replicator.

Khan picked up the new tricorder out of the replicator.  He looked down at it, and pressed his finger against the biometric recognition panel.  It activated and a voice spoke out of it.  "Self-test complete.  Mode of operation?"  Khan spoke quietly into the device, "Holographic toolkit."  A holoemitter on the device activated, creating an item that Khan had preprogrammed in the design process.

Khan picked up the item, one of the things he generally wanted to have at hand no matter where he went.  The blade was a thing of beauty, double-edged and deliciously sharp.  It had the right heft.  Khan turned in one fluid motion and stabbed upwards, as if to execute a subordinate.  He held his final pose for ten seconds.  His new tricorder bleeped once; it was quiet for a moment and bleeped twice; after another moment it bleeped three times and the holomatter knife in his hands dissolved into the nothingness from which it had come.

"Battery life is limited," Khan muttered to himself.  "Sufficient for the element of surprise, though.  I look forward to someday using this for a promotion."  He tapped the new tricorder to deactivate it, then queried the computer for a list of items under 500 grams that he might wish to add to his tricorder database.
  • Current Mood
    creative creative
mad khan

Concerns about the Murgatroid and its crew

The current status of Captain Jellico (sequestered in his quarters and pouting about not being able to kill Commander Storvik) is a near ultimate "hands-off" situation for me. Of course, his mismanagement of his own policies is causing problems in crew efficiency and ship maintenance, but that will be correctable if I can escape his wrath for not being able to hand him Storvik trussed up like a sehlat ready for roasting. This need for revenge is incredibly unwise on his part...I will be happy to see him gone.

My conversation with mib_khan hopefully will lead to my personal preservation. If not, I can see permanent "retirement" in my future...and worse and worse things happening to the iss_murgatroid. With luck, whatever he's planning will happen soon...I don't even think a stampede of invading aliens would be enough to get Jellico out of his quarters right now. Unfortunately, his quarters are where he is strongest. Let's hope he remains ineffectual and dysfunctional, if I am to survive.

I am being paged from the bridge. Close personal log and encrypt.
  • Current Mood
    anxious anxious
South Park NSNK

Personal log: the orders have arrived

Although I have not yet seen the message instructing me to kill Jellico, I can tell that the crew already knows. They are beginning to divide themselves into three camps: those whose loyalty to evil_kyjellico cannot be broken; those who believe me to be the next captain, and are thus kissing my ass; and a third camp, the fence-sitters.

My rigged combadge vibrates every so often. This lets me know that it is not yet safe to openly plot against Jellico; he still has the Tantalus Field, and is not so insane as be totally unaware of events. Now is the time to find my counterpart and see what they have to say for themselves.
  • Current Music
    "Paranoia", The Kinks
mad khan

First Officer's log, Personal

If I knew this job was going to be this fun, I would have killed evil_storvik years ago. Perhaps I shall soon ensure that both Storviks suffer an "accident" during their torture, so that there is no chance that evil_kyjellico can find any reason to pardon him and restore him to this position. I'm not certain why he spared their lives in the first place, but Captain's prerogative (and the Tantalus Field) means he gets to do what he wants.

Once we have reconquered my homeworld, I'll look in on the Vulcans and put my plans into effect.
  • Current Mood
    predatory predatory
South Park NSNK

Mib Khan's Personal Log: TGMR

I sent Captain Jellico a report about my ongoing humiliation of the Storviks, who had been having sex, transforming sexes, and having sex again. That ponn farr is a bitch. I named the transforming agent TGMR. It clearly is communicable, as both Storviks switch, when before only one of them changes sexes.

I failed to define the term to Captain Jellico, who wrote a comment in my report and sent it back. The report only said, "That Guy's Male, Right?" I couldn't decide whether or not to correct him. Sadly, due to his protections, I cannot infect him with the Trans-Gendering Mutational Retrovirus, so that Beefcake can bugger him.
  • Current Mood
    angry angry
mad khan

No More Dr. Nice Khan

I had considered helping unpleasant_ifix with the torture, but I decided it had been too long since I had caused unwarranted mental anguish. Oh, yes, I had executed a member of my Sickbay staff, but executions are hard to undo so that you can enjoy them again later. So, I decided to interrupt Ifix at work. Torture can always be followed up with more torture.

Whistle while you torture...Collapse )

I handed Ifix a isolinear optical chip. "This chip contains specific rehydration solutions for them. There are two different solutions, each optimized for the Vulcan metabolism. Do not drink either of them! Both taste horrible, and may cause digestive problems for you. Give the first solution to both of them until their mucous membranes are 75% back to normal, and then give the second solution to the female Vulcan. She will be needing more...fluid...than the other. If they refuse the fluids, you have my permission to tube feed them. At that point, you should throw them into the same cell and turn on your data recorders. That should prove...instructional." He saluted, and I walked out.

The Mib Khan of the Federation had received a patent for a drug called "extendenafil". It was interestingly useful for many species, but had the additional side effect of causing ponn farr in Vulcans. This would prove amusing at least, and could prove informationally useful. And the video would sell for pleasing quantities on the gray market...
  • Current Music
    "Turning Japanese"
alpha_hannah says killkillkill!

Catching up

It took more than a day for me to catch up with Storvik's ship after it emerged from subspace. Luckily for me, it didn't seem like it was going anywhere.

I approached it slowly in the Revenge. They seemed to be recalibrating their sensors to deal with their sensor-resistant hull. The hull was sensor-resistant, but not weapons resistant. I powered up the Revenge's disruptor cannons and severed their warp nacelles from their hull. I then destroyed their weapons pods and cut away enough of the asteroid for me to get a sensor fix on the interior.

TWO Vulcan lifesigns? Well, this was a little problem. A fixable problem. I switched over to the phaser cannons, set them to stun, and fired. I held them on for several extra seconds, just to make certain. When sensors confirmed unconsciousness, I reconfigured the holocabin into a operating suite and jail cell combination, and beamed them aboard.

TWO Storviks? I couldn't tell them apart. Even testing quantum signatures proved an imperfect way to determine if one was a native of this universe and one was from my universe. I had to go over to their ship and investigate their logs.

Conveniently, a terminal had been left active. I could determine that one of the Storviks in question was mine...but I couldn't tell them apart. Hrm. Guess I could bring them both back to Captain Jellico. That wouldn't be a problem, as far as I can see. I locked up both unconscious Storviks into their respective cells. No point in putting them close enough to each other to cause mischief.

I started to compose my mind for interuniversal travel.
  • Current Mood
    calm calm
South Park NSNK

Like a bat out of hell they are gone

Even as I considered my options as to how best to get past the Orion's Defense Perimeter, that option was taken away from me. The asteroidal ship came towards me and accellerated into warp faster than anything else I'd ever seen. Conveniently, I knew that it couldn't maintain those levels of subspace for long. They'd surface for air...and directions...soon enough.

I turned and followed my best guess at their flight path. The game was afoot.
  • Current Mood
    hyper hyper
South Park NSNK

Keeping my distance

The asteroidal ship that I was following entered the defense perimeter of a heavily protected base. The Revenge captured the handshaking of the codes exchanged between the ship and base, but could not decipher the contents. Surprisingly, their encryption was up to what I would consider the standard. That was something I could expect from the Empire, but not whoever he was meeting here...apparently, not everyone was as trusting and simple as the Federation.

The ship's computer warned me about the defense perimeter. It was operating on both passive and active sensors, and had enough power to fry everything to atoms. No reason to go in...because what goes in must come out. I settled in to wait again, and set the computer against the encryption to see what it could come up with.
  • Current Mood
    waiting